By Julie Doneon, MOCSA President & CEO
This week, we hosted a celebration at MOCSA as we officially cut the ribbon opening our new home. This exciting event brought our community of supporters together to acknowledge this milestone, to express our gratitude to those who joined us in bringing our vision to life and to appreciate what we have built together: a permanent home for MOCSA and survivors of sexual violence.
In preparation for our ribbon cutting, I thought about the people who will walk through these doors seeking support and finding this beautiful space built for them.
A place that reflects the dignity, care, and support they deserve. I am incredibly proud of everyone who was involved and continue to be overwhelmed by the support from our community.
But as our team and I prepared for this celebration, a cloud of reality hovered over us, and our hearts were broken once again by local and national news stories.
This week, we saw again the painful ways people chose to turn away when witnessing others in harm’s way. It’s difficult to fully celebrate in the midst of so ongoing tragedy.
A team member recounted a recent conversation she had with a friend who asked if she was furious about the recent news of the violent gang rape of a college student at Cornell University. Her response was “Yes, of course, but we are furious every day.”
What happened to Jane Doe is unconscionable and we grieve for her. We are furious at the men who assaulted her and those who chose to turn their backs when they had a chance to intervene and save her from this dehumanizing act of violence.
It didn’t require a heroic effort. It required humanity. There were so many things they could have done. And yet, they turned away and allowed the rape of a classmate to continue.
But to my team member’s response, this unfortunately is our reality. Our reality at MOCSA is with survivors and their loved ones whose hands and stories we hold. This is a reality for far too many people every single day.
While most of their stories don’t make the news, their experiences are no less important. The survivors here in our community are just as important. Every one of them.
Survivors impacted by sexual abuse at school, survivors assaulted by authority figures, survivors hurt by someone they love. This kind of sexual violence is happening here in our own community every day.
Seeing this kind of sexual violence detailed and amplified on social media, in the news, and throughout families and communities can be incredibly triggering and upsetting for survivors, and their loved ones. And it can make many of us feel powerless. But we are not powerless.
Throughout my career, I have seen how much people want to support survivors. I have also seen how difficult it becomes when the person accused of harm is someone we know, trust, or care about.
Those are the moments when our response matters most. Courage is believing a survivor when they share that they are a victim of sexual violence, even when the person accused is someone we know.
Or when we see harm or potential harm and have the choice to stand up or turn away. It means listening when we learn about a pattern of inappropriate behavior and making decisions that protect the vulnerable. I have seen people make these choices, even when they are uncomfortable, and I know more of us can. Taking this kind of action is powerful.
And so, the celebration ends, and our work goes on. We will continue to fight for survivors, work for culture change in our community, and teach people how to recognize harm and step up.
But no one agency can do this work alone. MOCSA can’t do this work alone. This work belongs to all of us. Every one of us will have a moment when we can choose to turn away or act. To be brave, to take action, to use our power for good. To stand up, don’t stand by.
What will you do?